NFL
Bill Belichick Spotted Sweating Profusely at Airport After TSA Finds “Too Many Unauthorised Playbooks” in Luggage
In a bizarre scene this morning, legendary former Patriots head coach Bill Belichick was reportedly seen sweating profusely at Boston Logan Airport after TSA agents pulled him aside for having an “unusual number of spiral-bound documents” in his carry-on.
Eyewitnesses say Belichick, wearing his signature hoodie (despite 80-degree weather), appeared nervous as agents flipped through what appeared to be hundreds of hand-written football plays, most of them labeled “Top Secret” in bold Sharpie.
“He just kept mumbling ‘we were onto them… we were onto all of them,’” said a fellow passenger. “Then he started diagramming blitz packages on a napkin.”
TSA confirmed that no illegal items were found, but did confiscate a mysterious VHS tape labeled “Jets’ Signals – Week 4, 2007.”
Sources close to Belichick say he was headed to an undisclosed location in Florida, possibly to open a private film-study retreat called “4th and Forever.”
Despite the chaos, one TSA agent admitted he was starstruck. “Honestly, I don’t know what half those plays meant,” he said, “but I’m pretty sure I just watched a man try to sneak an entire defensive dynasty through airport security.”
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