Justin Bieber’s Latest Scandal: Pop Star Accidentally Donates $100 Million to Charity, Forcing Fans to Defend Him on Twitter for 72 Hours Straight

 In a shocking twist that has Beliebers reeling from their energy drinks, Justin Bieber was caught on drone footage yesterday giving away his entire fortune to orphanages and climate activists, prompting an emergency UN intervention to “save the Bieber brand” before it becomes “too wholesome.”

“Oh my God, not the philanthropy!” wailed crisis manager Kylie Jenner from a crisis bunker (actually her walk-in closet), as TMZ headlines screamed: “Bieber’s Betrayal: From Bad Boy to Boy Scout—Is This the End of Pop?” The 31-year-old “Baby” singer, fresh off a suspiciously scandal-free decade of marriage to Hailey Bieber and fatherhood with son Jack Blues (age 1), confessed during a rogue TikTok Live: “I woke up, saw my Lambo collection, and thought, ‘What if I sold these for treehouses instead?’ Boom—charity arc unlocked.”Fans, trained since 2010 to defend Bieber from egg-throwing, egging houses, and that one time he peed in a mop bucket, sprang into action.

“#JustinDidNothingWrong” trended worldwide within minutes, with viral threads claiming the donation was “clearly a cry for help” and “probably tax evasion in disguise.” One superfan,

, posted 247 screenshots: “See? He only gave 99% away. The remaining 1% is for cocaine. He’s still problematic, guys—RT to save his rep!”Industry heavyweights panicked.

Scooter Braun, Bieber’s ex-manager, leaked memos revealing a secret “Scandal Simulator 3000” app designed to auto-generate headlines like “Bieber Spotted Yelling at Clouds” or “Hailey’s Salad Was Too Green—FITE ME.” “We had 2026 planned: Bieber vs. Paparazzi Midget Wrestling,” Braun sobbed to Variety. “Now he’s volunteering at soup kitchens? This is worse than when he apologized for ‘Sorry’!”Hailey Bieber, ever the MVP, pivoted gracefully by launching “Bieber Basics:

Edgy Onesies for Activist Babies,” featuring slogans like “My Daddy Funds Your Therapy.” Sales hit $50 million overnight, with limited-edition “Egg Donor” prints nodding to JB’s 2014 house-trashing spree. “Justin’s not soft—he’s strategically soft,” she told Vogue, while quietly shipping the Lambos to auction.Not to be outdone, rival pop stars scrambled:

• Selena Gomez: Released “Ex-Boyfriend’s Glow-Up Is Ruining My Narrative (Diss Track).”
• Ariana Grande: Donated $1 to charity, then clarified, “Mine was intentional—for the vibes.”
• Taylor Swift: Wrote a 17-minute ballad, “The Archer Who Gave Too Much,” which somehow implicated the CIA.

As Beliebers formed human chains outside Bieber’s Malibu mansion—chanting “Throw the eggs! Throw the eggs!”—Justin emerged with a ukulele and a bald eagle (symbolizing freedom from scandals). “Guys, being good is the new bad,” he strummed, before accidentally funding a Swiftie retirement home.By press time, the UN had airlifted 500 paparazzi to “re-scandalize” Bieber, starting with a staged “oops, I farted in Whole Foods” vid. “We’re back, baby!” tweeted

. Moral of the story? In pop, generosity is the ultimate felony.